well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Sober January is a disaster.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
