sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize