I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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