Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
