We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
