If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
