new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
YAS. BRING CRAB.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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