Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
