hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Randomize
