he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
