But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
