she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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