Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Houston, we have a squirter
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize