I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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