I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
