I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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