I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
