Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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