Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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