ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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