Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
