This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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