That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
