go do what you do best...puke behind churches
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
