How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize
