The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
