dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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