You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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