the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Where is the hickey?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Randomize
