Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
