At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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