You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize