you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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