I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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