the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize