i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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