last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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