i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I have tasted many bathrooms
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
