I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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