he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
