Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
