And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I am naked and annoyed.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
