she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
