In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
