if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
