When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
