i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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