For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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