I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
