i barfeds in our rink
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
