He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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