Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
