i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
