the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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