I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
