There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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