Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
