I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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