everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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