Jerry, you need to find god
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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