Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Damn victory sex feels great
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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